The Author's Alphabet

A is for Author, who struggles to write.
It's a vicious, mad circle
of distractions we fight.

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B is for baby or boyfriend or beau-
All the people who needs us
and interrupt flow.

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C is for coffee, the author's best friend
or tea, soda or chocolate,
all caffeine in the end.

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D is for deadline, that vilest of words.
Can I have an extension?
Till the second or third?

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E for editor, long-suffering saints,
who tell us, once more,
not to tell but to paint.

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F is for format, which is simple as pie.
Unless you self-publish.
Then there's reason to cry.

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G is for Goodreads, a readers' resource,
but with landmines for authors
of the sensitive sort.

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H is for hero, his story we tell,
who revenges his torture
with plot twists from hell.

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ISBN - we're numbered these days
to sell to the Danes,
Portuguese and Malays.

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J is for jargon, which we're told not to use
unless it's in character
for time/setting clues.

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K is for Kuttnering, quick, clever bits,
info dump minis,
or lost readers have fits.

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L is for library, public or online,
to research such things
as platypi and landmines.

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M is for manuscript, our hearts and souls
that we bleed for and live for,
then send to black holes.

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N is for novel, that Rolls Royce of fiction.
Some reach completion
or a drawer in the kitchen.

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O is for outline which we sometimes remember,
though what's started in June
is much changed by November.

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P is for plot. No, you don't strictly need it.
But unless you're Jack Kerouac,
readers may pitch a fit.

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Q is for Query, a quaint, aging thing,
born of an age
of polite inquiring.

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R for rejection, the author's great fear
we're grownups, we're stoic
(yes, fine, there are tears.)

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S for submission, that first rush of eek!
Then endless nail-biting,
checking emails for weeks.

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T for Thesaurus - admit it, you've used one.
Brains will get stuck
and need swift calcitration.

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Unsolicited manuscript-a rebel, a maverick!
But read the sub guidelines
or your ms gets drop kicked.

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V is for verbs, and those beasts conjugations.
Please learn them, don't guess.
It's your job, not an option.

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W - work in progress, be it one, four or ten
stirring dreams into shambles,
our brains into Bedlam.

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X for Xenology, SF types only,
ET's we create
both gorgeous and homely.

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Y is for Yaoi, Young Adult and, yes, Yuri,
and all of those genres
just west of contemporary.

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Z is for zeitgeist, the feel of a time
our historical authors
will fathom my rhyme.

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And so lovely writers, I've wasted a day
with cataloging each letter
in a relevant way

It may not seem prudent or even quite sane
but a labor of love
for a brain wont to play. ;)

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